First draft finished!

Ahead of schedule, I finished the first draft of my novel last night.  It stands at 287 pages, 75K words.  I’m excited to have reached the end, but there’s a sense of sadness that comes with the completion of this writing phase.  No more jotting down fresh ideas for the story on the train, in between meetings at work, or via e-mails to myself.  Permission to write whatever I want has been officially withdrawn.  It’s on to the editing phase where hours (days sometimes) worth of work will be mercilessly annihilated with the stroke of a delete button; weakly-executed through-lines will test my faith; and there’ll be no quick fixes for areas of contrived plotting, character inconsistencies and cringe-worthy passages.

Yes, I’m being a bit of a drama queen about this.  But I’ve been through editing a novel manuscript before (THE REGISTRATION) and it was pretty horrific.  So maybe it’s like rounds of chemotherapy, getting easier each time.  Maybe it’s all in the right attitude.  I will be approaching my edits differently, taking the advice of writing guru Jack Bickham.  I’m setting the manuscript aside for a couple of weeks.  The idea is to let the brain cells regenerate and new ideas emerge.

In the meantime, I’ll be turning back to some of my short fiction projects.  I recently posted IN A WINE PHASE on gayauthors.org, a fantastic on-line writer’s community.  I’m continuing to look for a home for MIKE’S POND.  Maybe I’ll even churn out a new story during this break.

Oh – and why the pic of Robert Verdi?  I love his new show!!

This and That

The big news this week:  I’ll be writing a book review for La Bloga, the award-winning blog for Latino/Latina literature!!  La Bloga features news and views from a wide range of Hispanic authors and poets and has frequently included gay and lesbian writers such as Michael Nava.  I’ll be reviewing John Rechy’s groundbreaking City of Night.

Then, in the “boo hoo” category, I received my third rejection for MIKE’S POND.  My pity party lasted about 12 hours, and now I’m looking for another journal to sub to.

I’m closing in on the end of WHEN THE FALLEN ANGELS FLY.  280 pages.  72.5K words!!  I’m wrapping up the climactic scene, and I have the denouement to work out.  Feeling pretty optimistic about having the full first draft done by the end of the month.

What inspires me this week:  the Olympics.  My Honey-Bunny (HB) and I have been watching all of the events.  Plenty of tragedy and drama so far, from the heartbreaking death of Georgian luger Nodar Kumaritashvili, the wipe-out of two Korean skaters in the short track final and Canadian skier Alexandre Bilodeau ending his country’s gold medal drought on the moguls.  I have to confess that it’s been hard for me to root on the US team.  Maybe it’s the strident TV coverage.  The US always comes across as cocky bullies, and I find myself pulling for the underdogs, which is pretty much athletes from every other country.  Big news – the US leads the medal count!  What a surprise.  We’re the wealthiest nation in the world with more resources going into athletic training than any other country in the world.  It takes a kid on skates in a sequined body suit with a pink tassel for me to get behind the US team.  Go Johnny Weir!!

On Complex Villains – Fred Phelps

I recently came across a fascinating story about the Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist church.  Jon Michael Bell interviewed Phelps and his family in the mid-90’s, but his reporting, under the book title “Addicted to Hate”, was never published due to a dispute with the publisher.  Bell’s short, nine-chapter book circulates the Internet like a viral video.  It caught my eye because I’m drawn in by stories with complex villains.   I tend to view people as multi-dimensional in my life and my writing.  Tell me someone is “bad,” and I’ll spend hours working out the counterpoint.  The same goes for saints and heroes.  I guess I don’t like being told how I should think, and I believe there’s humanity in every individual, no matter how despicable their choices and behaviors.  That doesn’t mean I don’t believe in personal responsibility, punishment or making amends.  But I feel that by casting folks as pure evil, we miss an opportunity to understand human nature and ultimately to learn from it.

Most people know Fred Phelps as an audacious, gay-hating evangelist.  He coined the motto:  “God Hate Fags,” and turned it into a communications campaign.  He pickets the funerals of people who died from AIDS, and he protests memorials for hate crimes victims, most famously Matthew Shepherd.  His views are too extreme for even anti-gay Christian groups like Focus on the Family.  He calls these slightly tolerant folks “fag-enablers” or “fags” themselves.  He’d be a frightening guy if he hadn’t become a caricature, lampooned on late night talk shows, Howard Stern and, of course, Jerry Springer.   “Family values” Republicans dismiss him as a fringe element (Phelps actually campaigned for Al Gore in the 1980’s), and he and his family/congregation (they’re pretty much one in the same) have been barred from entering the UK.

What people might not know is that Phelps had a career as a civil rights attorney in the 60’s and 70’s and helped overturn Jim Crow laws in the Midwest.  He even received an award from the NAACP  in 1987.  Phelps was since disbarred for harassing a female witness and perjury, but he’s an intelligent, well-educated man.  It makes me wonder what was the turning point for this guy?  What led him to launch into a monolithic campaign to save America by destroying gays?  He doesn’t conform to our comfortable beliefs about what makes a person homophobic – lack of education and/or ignorance.  I find it very hard to believe that Phelps intellect cannot grasp the concept of human diversity, the fact that homosexuality is not communicable, that AIDS comes from a virus, not a class of people.

When reporter Bells interviewed Phelps’  adult children, some of the answers came out.  Two of his sons and one daughter describe terrifying scenes of domestic abuse directed toward them and their mother.  It was physical and not surprisingly verbal.  One of Phelps’ sons believes that Phelps turned his rage toward gays after his kids were too old to abuse.  They paint a portrait of a sadistic man intolerant of any deviation from his authority, and they believe that their siblings who remain loyal to their father (Phelps has a total of 13 children) haven’t come forward about the abuse because they are living in fear.

The picture coming together for me is a person who is paranoid-delusional with a persecution complex rooted in deep-seated insecurity.  Phelps attacks those he’s afraid of – children he will one day be unable to control and gays who challenge his shaky hold on masculinity.  Somewhere in his development, I think Phelps’ sense of self was deeply fractured, an injury he could only repair by creating a fantasy of self-importance with conspirators always threatening to bring him down.   Even when Phelps was working for civil rights, colleagues remember him as fiercely oppositional, a crusader; it was always him against the world.  Maybe Phelps was victimized himself as a child.  Maybe the abuse was sexual, which is why his rage turned toward gays.  None of this is so extraordinary really.  There are plenty of people with similar psychological profiles in our mental health system:  narcissistic or borderline personality and bi-polar depressives.  From a diagnostic standpoint, there is plenty of evidence of Phelps’ maladaptive coping.  It lost him his job and his relationships with his family and most certainly many friends.  One of his sons also reports that Phelps abused crystal meth.

Still, Phelps manages to function better than most folks with severe mental illness.  He’s a functional delusional, not a one-dimensional monster, but dangerous through his destructive acts toward others and himself.  A great inspiration for storytelling.

Angels vs. Vampires

My work-in-progress is about gay men and angels, and lately I’ve been worried.  This probably happens to every writer:  as you near the homestretch, you start noticing all the recently released books or movies similar to your story and panic that they’re going to cancel out the unique appeal of your novel.  On the other hand, hitting on a trend could be a very good thing for a debut title.  This has certainly been the case with vampire stories.

I don’t read vampire stories so I cast no judgment on them.  Something about vampires clearly taps into our collective unconscious, and there have always been plenty of vampire stories around.  But since Twilight’s success, bookstores have set up entire sections for this fantasy sub-genre.  Like I said, I haven’t picked up one of them, but some of them have some pretty enticing cover art.  And vampire movies are coming out like every other month.  The latest Daybreakers I just might go see.

Some people say the vampire trend is going cold.  Some people said that a year or two years ago.  The bubble has to burst at some point I guess just like the real estate market in the new millennium.

Vampires have infiltrated the gay fiction market as well.  A search on Amazon pulls up pages and pages of gay vampire novels, erotic and otherwise, all released in the past three years.  The only gay vampire book I read, back in the ’90’s, was Vampires Anonymous by Jeffrey McMahan. It was really good.

Angels seem to have a quieter following.  There’s the inspirational and melodramatic stuff out there, but no mainstream angel franchise that I can think of in terms of books and no angel fiction display case at my local Barnes and Noble.  Maybe they’re too sacred to exploit as a fantasy series.  Maybe people prefer to read about angels within the sanctity of the Bible.  Maybe this is why I was drawn to the subject as an excellent target for subversion.  But lately, there’s been a bunch of angel novels in the new release section of the bookstore.  Anne Rice’s Angel Time is out as part of her new Songs of the Seraphim trilogy, and YA author Lauren Kate has the angel-inspired series Fallen.  Plus film-wise, there’s the big budget Legion and James Cameron is working on a blockbuster based on the manga Battle Angel.

This shouldn’t worry me too much, I tell myself.  My story is equal parts contemporary gay issues and angel legend.  It doesn’t feature badass angels wreaking havoc or fighting an epic battle of good versus evil, and it’s not about a teenage girl drawn into the tortured, sexy world of angel boys.  And even though my story touches on the familiar themes of transcending adversity through faith, mercy and divine intervention, it’s not going to get the Pope’s seal of approval.  In fact, I’d be madly delighted if the Pope condemned it as the most heretical piece of literature since Martin Luther’s Ninety-Five Theses.

I guess I’m just worried that by the time I finish my book (3 months off by my most optimistic calculation), agents and publishers will have declared the angel trend come and gone.  The anxiety pushes me along.  Maybe I’ll get the final 50 pages done by April.