Blog-a-rama: The Anniversary Edition

Posted on October 27, 2010 by andrew

I started this site about a year ago when I got my first fiction publication and was told—by many—I needed to promote myself on the Internet.

It quickly morphed from an author blurb and a press release to a place where I wrote about my life as a writer, my interests, my lifestyle, my reading habits, and even some earnest, if not always successful, poetry.

There have been highs and…really only highs. Sure, there have been occasional challenges figuring out the site mechanics—disappearing fonts, images that won’t re-size—and coming up with fresh content each weeks has had me up late on many a night. But it’s totally been a labor of love. And the cool thing is I now have my thoughts, celebrations and writing landmarks all in one place, a sort of on-line diary.

A big reward has been connecting with people. I recently received an e-mail from a guy who liked my review of John Rechy’s City of Night and wanted to talk more about the book. My goal for the upcoming year is to amp up the interaction on this site. Lately, the only comments I get are spam. Hooray for Akismet! I’m filtering out as many as 20 spams a day.

So if you’ve been lurking for awhile, feeling bashful about sharing your opinion—good or bad—or even just want to say hello, drop me a comment. It’s really quick and easy to register, and I promise I won’t bite your head off. If you’ve got your own blog or website going, as long as it’s not selling Cialis or an anti-virus product, I’ll gladly check it out and give it a plug.

Big thanks to everyone who supported me along the way!!

Opinion Piece: Has anti-gay hate and violence reached a critical mass?

Posted on October 21, 2010 by andrew

Incidents of anti-gay violence and bullying have been shockingly frequent across the country. On October 13th, a tragedy hit close to home. A 14-year old attending a Long Island vocational school was cornered and beaten by four older students on a school bus. You can check out the full story here.

For the past 16 years, I’ve worked at a Long Island not-for-profit that advocates for and provides services to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender or LGBT teens. It’s a cause that has defined my adult life in many ways. I believe we all have a part in making the world a better place. So many LGBT young people have no one to speak up for them, no one to care, no one to listen.

My work as an LGBT youth advocate crosses over with my work as a writer from time to time. I started this site as a place where I take off my social worker hat and express myself creatively, but the onslaught of hate and desperate acts by LGBT teens has penetrated the dual worlds I inhabit. Thirteen-year old boys are killing themselves under the weight of school abuse. Gangs of teens are raping and torturing gay kids in their neighborhoods to maintain a street code of masculinity. Politicians are spreading fear and hatred as a strategy to stir up votes.

The result of all these things bouncing around my head is an editorial published today by the Long Island Herald. Has anti-gay hate and violence reached a critical mass? I hope it has.

What’cha reading?

Posted on October 20, 2010 by andrew

I set out this year to read more books, and—with the extra leisure time I have taking the train to work—I’ve been pretty successful. I’m on my 23rd book of 2010. With two months left, I figure I should finish 25 or 26 by the end of the year.

A little early, I thought I’d share my favorite literary discoveries of 2010. These aren’t all necessarily the very favorite books I’ve read this year, but they are each recommendable and—I found—unique in some terrific way. None of them are 2010 releases since more often than not, I’m playing catch up on books that are somewhat comparable to my own writing.

I can’t say enough good things about Clegg’s retelling of the King Arthur legend. In fact, I’m repeating myself from an August 18th post on retold fairy tales and legends. In brief, this fantastic novel takes place in the richly imagined Medieval world of Broceliande, a bit reminiscent of Gregory Maguire’s Wicked, and tells the story of young Mordred’s coming of age under the tutelage of the magickal Merlin. If you enjoy stories that subvert villains and heroes (Arthur gets quite a send-up), you couldn’t do much better.

I liked Mordred so much, I wrote to Douglas Clegg to tell him, and I received a nice reply with the sad news that his planned trilogy was thwarted due to issues with the publisher Alyson, despite the fact that the book sold well and got great reviews. I’m crossing my fingers that the other books get bought fast by a big publishing house.

Switching genres completely, I loved this quiet, friends-gathering-for-a-summer-weekend drama. Sort of Love, Valour, Compassion meets Ordinary People, it’s a study of the inner world of four people managing loss and damaged relationships. The Weekend was my introduction to Cameron and left me mightily impressed.

The Ranger’s Apprentice hardly needs my testimonial. The franchise has been wildly successful across the globe and still fills up book displays at all the bookstore chains. But as a reader who is a trifle timid about high fantasy, it was an unusual pick for me and highly satisfying.

Retrieved from Amazon

The Ranger’s Apprentice–dare I say–surpasses the Harry Potter series in its portrayal of a teen hero. I was surprised by the degree of character development actually since it is a “boy’s book” with swords, dark magic and fantasy creatures with impossible to pronounce names. In the midst of it, there are great plot lines about how boys succeed when they’re not the physical ideal and the frightening world of bullying victims.

Little did I know, there’s a mystery series set in Ancient Rome. Saylor’s Gordianus–The Finder–is the Ellery Queen of the ancient world. Historical authenticity is a big selling point for his Roma Sub Rosa series with The Finder navigating the real life dramas of such figures as Cicero, Marcus Crassus and Catilina. The Venus Throw is about the murder of an Egyptian diplomat amidst the Republic’s designs on the Egyptian kingdom and the demise of the wealthy Claudia family. A fun diversion.

Retrieved from Amazon

This retelling of the ancient Greek Atalanta myth provides a nice portrayal of a non-gender conforming girl and moves along briskly with well written action. I would have liked a little something more unexpected in the “retelling,” and it’s hard to reconcile the fiercely independent Atalanta getting married in the end. But as one of very few Young Adult novels tackling Greek mythology—hmmm, not a bad idea—it’s fresh and worth the read.

The Power of Words

Posted on October 13, 2010 by andrew

Election season. The time of the year when politicians use words to shame and fear.

Illegal immigrant. Homosexual agenda. Socialized medicine.

The last one I actually don’t have any problem with, but it generally comes up in a pejorative sense, as though we’re on the brink of collapsing under a Stalinist regime.

To answer back the insidious rhetoric, I decided to feature some activist poetry this week. First, on the immigration issue, I found this excellent verse on La Bloga by poet/artist Tom Sheldon. Then, a far inferior poem I wrote in response to Tea Party-approved New York State Governor candidate Carl Palladino.

If you don’t know the backstory on Palladino you can read it here.

THEY

by Tom Sheldon

THEY have no home,

have no family nor rights.

They have no feelings,

living on warm water and sardines.

They are from another world.

They sneek in the night,

averse to clubs and bullets.

They miss their families.

They are saddened to leave home.

They are desperate,

risking their lives.

For a dream.

TO CARL PALLADINO, FROM A DYSFUNCTIONAL HOMOSEXUAL

by Andrew J. Peters

The dysfunction, you see,

Is not about me.

I like watching men grind up on each other,

But drop your gay hang-ups like blaming the mother,

My enjoyment of sex is completely intact,

Like all well-adjusted adult men in fact,

I’d think you’d agree this is hardly a crime,

You like women so much, you like two at a time,

I wouldn’t call you a dysfunctional straight,

Perhaps overfunctioning would be one complaint.

The thing I see that’s not functioning so well,

Is the hawks and the clery who condemn gays to hell,

The same people who seem to have nothing to say,

When ten kids rape a neighbor because he is gay,

Something’s not working when a pride celebration,

Tops of the list of issues that pique moral damnation,

And the young (and not so young) need to dole out shame,

In order to feel as strong as they proclaim.

National Coming Out Day

Posted on October 6, 2010 by andrew

So I’m five days early, but I wanted to do a post about National Coming Out Day before rather than after the event.

National Coming Out Day was founded in 1988 by psychotherapist/activist Dr. Robert Eichberg and pioneer lesbian activist Jean O’Leary. The purpose is to raise awareness of the LGBT community and offer support and resources to those who are afraid to come out. Though started in the U.S., National Coming Out Day is actually an international celebration. It’s celebrated on October 11th in most countries; NCOD is observed on November 12th in the United Kingdom.

A literary trivium: both Eichberg and O’Leary were authors. Eichberg wrote the self-help book Coming Out: An Act of Love, which was a sort of bible for me in my formative years. O’Leary was a former nun and contributed to a 1984 anthology entitled Lesbian Nuns: Breaking the Silence. The well-recognized coming out of the closet logo was designed by Keith Haring.

There are so many things to write about for NCOD 2010–the need for LGBT visibility in the aftermath of isolated, bullied teens killing themselves, the fight for marriage equality and the right to serve openly in the military, and the courageous story of Benjamin Carver who was jumped by bashers in the bathroom of NYC’s Stonewall Inn and fought off his assailants, just two days ago.

I’ve been planning for awhile to tell my own coming out story here, as is the tradition for NCOD. But there are so many other things going on, I have to take a brief detour.

So back to the bullying/suicides. There’s this amazing grassroots campaign happening in response to the recent tragedies of Tyler Clementi (New Jersey), Seth Walsh (California), Raymond Chase (Rhode Island), Billy Lucas (Indiana), and Justin Aaberg (Minnesota). It’s called It Gets Better and was created by one of my personal heroes: columnist and hottie Dan Savage. Savage’s project encourages young people and adults to videotape messages of hope to young people who may feel alone and hopeless. Youtube now hosts hundreds of inspirational videos including ones by Tim Gunn, Jake Shears and Perez Hilton.

You can watch one of the videos here: It Gets Better Project

Allright. My coming out story. We each have so many stories – when we told a best friend, the “first time,” and the family dramas. I chose to focus on an internal event, the point when I acknowledged to myself that I was gay, because there was something indelible about that moment and it changed the trajectory of my life.

I was a 20-year-old college student. I was seeing a psychotherapist because I was having panic attacks–full on am-I-having-a-cardiac-arrest? kind of spells–that usually happened in class and a few times at social gatherings. I had no idea what was going on. Tucked deep inside my head was the knowledge that I was attracted to guys, but I didn’t connect that fact to my anxiety. It seemed to come and go without any specific provocation, those heart pounding, short of breath nervous spurts that felt like electrical surges, as though I had been wired by a faulty electrician.

I spent about six months talking to my therapist, trying to understand the triggers, exploring my insecurities and wondering what could possibly be happening to me.

One day, the therapist asked: “Do you remember telling me you were afraid that people think you’re gay?”

Had I said that? I had only a vague recollection. I nodded.

“Do you think it’s possible that you’re gay?”

Was she saying…? Did she think…? Oh my God. I think she’s right. My complexion went through shades of purple and red. I took a deep breath. “Maybe,” I ventured. My gaze wandered around all parts of the office, any place but her. When the hour was up, and I left the office and went out to the street.

The possibility stuck with me as I walked home, and I went through all fashions of emotion–childlike bashfulness, visceral relief–and most profoundly joy as I had never experienced before. Several things occurred to me at once. There was a reason for my anxiety. Now that I had found it, I was free, or at least the path for freedom was illuminated, no matter how difficult it might be.

I was gay. I said it in my head. The shame was no longer crippling. A broad grin spread across my face. I think I even laughed to myself. What had I been so afraid of? This was who I was, and I was going to be just fine. The day seemed brighter, the streets more vivid. An excited rush poured over me. I knew who I was, and I thought about the wonderful release of telling other people. I wouldn’t have to hide that part of me anymore. In being real with others, in being truly open to fall in love with someone else, I felt for the first time the possibility of happiness in my future.

Coming out to other people was a gradual process for me. Fears and doubts punctuated the next few years of my life. But that day of self-acknowledgement was a crucial turning point. I could have kept denying who I was, kept hiding. Instead I chose to face the truth and live my life as an openly gay man.

Happy National Coming Out Day!!