Hot Tips for Writers

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An interesting thing that happens once you get published is friends, colleagues, family members, neighbors, and even strangers come out of the woodwork to confess they also wrote a novel, or their husband also wrote a novel, or they’re working on a novel and wonder if you have some advice.

Sometimes, that’s a disastrous lead-in to asking you to read said novel or novel-in-progress, a situation that cannot end well. But if it’s not a pretext for that, hey, why not share some bits of wisdom? We writers do it all the time. It’s become something of an industry really – the “how to write a best seller” book – which, in today’s oversaturated publishing market, eventually will probably lead to endless blogs and books on how to write a how to write book.

So here I am jumping on that bandwagon, but just for the ridiculous fun of it rather than to style myself as a writing guru. Recently, loathsome author Jonathan Franzen wrote a 10 Rules for Novelists piece at Literary Hub, which was somewhat of an inspiration point for me. You can read some other authors’ snarky responses on Twitter in this article in the Guardian here.

I’d argue probably the very best advice for writers came from W. Somerset Maugham, or at least it’s so frequently attributed to him, people have given up fact-checking the matter. The leads must’ve gone cold quite awhile ago considering he’s dead. Anyway, by popular consensus, Maugham famously quipped:

“There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.”

I’ve never actually read anything by Maugham, but if he did come up with that unassailable assessment, I probably should. On the other hand, that kind of tip-giving is no fun when you could instead show off your arrogance or cleverness or gleeful irreverency by publishing a top ten list of your own. Here’s Chuck Wendig’s homespun list (and he’s not a tool):

Now I’m no Chuck Wendig. Just check out my book sales if you don’t believe me. Or, compare our number of Twitter followers, or see how many hits our websites get, or see the reaction of your local bookseller when you drop both of our names into conversation. It will shock and depress you. So that’s actually #i on my Ten Essential Rules for Writers List: Don’t compare yourself to Chuck Wendig.

But I am still a writer, goddammit. Let’s give credit where credit’s due. I’ve written eight novels (with varying results), and some of my titles have been runners-up at awards programs, and I was once recognized by a reader on the street. So yes, over the years, I’ve acquired some useless things to say on this subject. Thusly, for all the writers out there, and wanne be writers out there, I give you these gems that have served me well:

  1. Do not ever agree to read someone else’s work for the purposes of giving advice. Don’t give advice. Just don’t. Unless you want to be a very lonely person.
  2. Bad habits complement a writer’s lifestyle very well. Have you considered taking up smoking? A porn addiction? Really any bad habit that will plunge you deeper into alienation and self-loathing will do.
  3. When you find you’re repeating the same words and phrases in your manuscript, you may actually be on to something. Laziness and overextertion are possibilities, but let’s try to stay positive. My favorite overused words and phrases are: “abundant,” “strategoi,” and “he grinned.” Not so terrible, right? Season your manuscript judiciously with your darlings, and if no one else wants to eat it, well, there’s more for you.
  4. Some say: write drunk, edit sober. I actually favor the opposite. It helps take the edge off of rereading my work.
  5. If at all possible, do not tell people you are a writer. No interesting conversation ever follows that disclosure. Really, it’s just awkward all around.
  6. The Internet is your friend. Your only friend. The kind of friend who exposes all your vulnerabilities publically, calls you in the middle of the night to bail them out of jail after starting a bar fight, persuades you to try all the latest, worthless fads for improving your life, and is short on money when the restaurant bill arrives. Parental controls aren’t a bad idea.
  7. Find time to wallow in self-pity. An Australian Shiraz and The Real Housewives of Orange County pair well.
  8. If you must write in first-person, present, try not to be too transparent about the fact you’re really writing about yourself. We can see you behind the elf ears and leather leggings.
  9. Font choice can make all the difference.
  10. Finally, and really my only serious piece of advice: Be nice to other writers. It costs you nothing.

 

Did you know I also write reviews?

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Yes, it’s true. When I’m not sneaking in time to write my own stuff, I’m apt to be found poring through a book, and I caught a bit of a review bug a few years back which I’ll blame on Goodreads. The site is awesome in my opinion. It’s a great place to get book recs and to talk with readers who are also fans of the genres and authors that I like. I’m an organization nerd so I also love that you can catalogue what you’ve read and reviewed. I wish it had existed when I was in grade school. I’d have a whole history of my life in books!

Well, instead I have a history of what I’ve read over the past ten years (a little spotty for the first couple). If you’d like to connect with me there–and I hope you will–here’s my Goodreads profile page.

Meanwhile, I’ve taken on some review work at other sites, and I thought it would be cute to pass that along. You can follow my reviews at New York Journal of Books, Queer Sci Fi, and Out in Print. I get called on a lot to review fantasy titles, though I’ve branched out to other genres from time to time. My most recent review at Out in Print was a reprint of a gay pulp erotic pirate novel, for instance. I like discovering unusual titles and helping to spread the word about LGBTQ+ #OwnVoices books.

Feel free to pitch a title to me if it falls into that latter category. I’ll probably say no, which I guess is pretty harsh, but I want to be realistic about expectations. Between reviewing for three sites, getting reseach in, and finding time to read for pleasure, I’m massively backlogged most of the time. But I promise not to be mean if you decide to try me!

If you’re looking for reviewers, here’s a few suggestions…

Reedsy has a searchable book review blog database you can find here. It covers the full spectrum of genres.

There’s also The Book Blogger List that has a comprehensive list of categories.

And, I just discovered this one while writing this post: Book Sirens has a blog directory. 

I’ll also mention, for my ongoing project An Introduction to Gay Fantasy, I’m always looking to build up my curated list of titles, particularly books written before 2000. So fire away with suggestions. I have the lofty aim of collecting “noteworthy” titles, which I define in lots of ways: awards, industry praise, diverse portrayals, #OwnVoices, and “ground breaking” characters and/or ideas about gender and sexuality.

 

My interview at WROTE

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Hey, hey! Head over to WROTE podcast to listen to Baz and Vance interview me about Irresistible, historical fiction, queer media, romantic comedy and more.

I think it’s hysterically funny. You might just get a smirk or two out of it, but judge for yourself. There’s a rapid fire question part at the end that really exposes how dialed in I am to the latest in technology and lifestyle. But this was definitely one of the most enjoyable media thingies I’ve done over the years, and I have to give a huge shout out and thank you to Baz Collins and Vance Bastian for giving me time to introduce myself to their listeners!

Here’s where you can listen to it, and share it all over the place:

Andrew J. Peters

November 22, 2019 It gives us great pleasure to welcome Andrew J. Peters back as the guest on Episode 243 – Daddies to the Peach Boy! Andrew J Peters returns to discuss his latest release Slashed a…

WROTE stands for Written On The Edge, and the podcast runs weekly discussions about LGBTQ storytelling in all genres and mediums. Their guests have included some of my favorite authors like Scott Pomfret, Jerry Wheeler (who also was my editor on two novels), Joe Okwonko, and ‘Nathan Burgoine, among many others. Very entertaining stuff, and I’ve been spending my idle time catching up with episodes.

An excerpt from Irrestistible

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For my continuing promotion of Irresistible Month, I thought I’d share an exclusive excerpt from the book.

Launch month is going well by the way. The book has gradually accumulated reviews at Amazon and Goodreads, and while the tea leaves are always tough to read until I get my first royalty statement, the title seems to be staying pretty solid in its bestseller ranking at the Kindle store.

I chose a scene from early in the book, and it requires very little set-up. Here, the main character Cal is out with his best friend Derek the night after he met a very cute and friendly customer at the antiques shop where he works.

Irresisible

Copyright © 2018 by Andrew J. Peters

Later that evening, Callisthenes Panagopoulos met his roommate and best friend, Derek Foster, for a free, outdoor screening of the Mae West film I’m No Angel. The Bryant Park film festival of Hollywood classics was one item on a long list of things Cal had researched for them to do that summer. They only had twelve weeks in New York City, and Cal was determined to get as much out of the experience as possible. Derek had a seasonal job at a booth for discount theater tickets while Cal tended his uncle’s antiques shop. Their paychecks had to go almost entirely to the rent of their one-bedroom, sublet apartment, but Cal had found a treasure trove of free entertainment in the city.

The small urban park was overfilled with picnicking families and couples. Cal scanned through the crowd and spotted a spare spot centrally located for viewing. It looked like a tight fit, but when he led Derek across the lawn to claim it, some very nice ladies with shellacked helmets of hair and Broadway T-shirts looked up at Cal and quickly shrugged back their blanket to make space. A pair of older gentlemen stared at him dreamily and scooted back in their lawn chairs so Cal would have some room in their direction as well.

Cal unrolled a tatami mat from his college backpack, and he and Derek seated themselves hip to hip. Cal unpacked two fried egg sandwiches and a sixteen-ounce can of Budweiser, which he portioned into paper coffee cups liberated from a nearby deli. They chomped on their sandwiches as the opening credits blared from the giant screen.

Mae West had always been a campy curiosity to Cal, but he found his attention drifting away from the film. Was the guy he met in the store earlier that day for real? It felt like it had been a dream. He wasn’t supposed to be fishing for dates while he was working, but he hadn’t been able to stop himself. Brendan was gorgeous and smart and really sweet and considerate, and he knew about Arthur Rimbaud, and he’d minored in classical studies. He was a native New Yorker, which made him something like five thousand times more interesting and worldly than anyone Cal had met before. And like a total airhead, Cal had asked him if he did a lot of traveling, working in the shipping business, as if he freighted the goods across the Atlantic himself. Brendan probably had some high-powered executive job. Cal winced, thinking about how dumb he’d acted.

Meanwhile, his companion was having a hard time paying attention to the movie for different reasons.

“I know we’re homosexuals, but do we have to live out every gay cliché known to man this summer?” Derek said quietly.

Cal whispered back, “What do you mean?”

“Last night, it was the Jackie Onassis Hat and Apparel exhibit at the Fashion Institute of Technology. The day before was the Breakfast at Tiffany’s walking tour of Greenwich Village. Tonight, it’s Mae West?”

“You said you liked the walking tour.”

“I did. But I’m beginning to feel like I’m turning into Truman Capote.”

Cal guffawed. Derek looked nothing like Truman Capote. He was a slight guy with jet-black hair who looked like he worked at a tech company and skateboarded to work. Cal trapped his mouth with his hand, hoping his laughter hadn’t annoyed anyone nearby. The Midwestern housewives were timidly watching him like they’d spotted a celebrity. One of the older gentlemen leaned forward and asked Cal if he’d like one of his chocolate-dipped strawberries. Cal thanked him and declined. He gathered that side conversations at a reasonable volume were acceptable during the outdoor film.

“I’m glad you mentioned Truman Capote,” he told Derek. “It reminds me—Columbia has a free lecture this Friday on the art of writing the nonfiction crime novel.”

Derek gave Cal a lopsided grin. “You really can’t stop yourself, can you?”

“We have seventy-one days left until the end of the summer,” Cal said. “We’re budgeted at forty dollars a day, max, and that includes meals. I want to get in as much as possible.” At the end of the summer, Cal would be starting a master’s degree program in classical studies. Derek would go back to his odd jobs as a math tutor and working at the health insurance call center.

Derek’s shoulder leaned against his. “Don’t forget— I want to go to the beach.”

Cal grinned. He and Derek had been best friends since freshman year in college. In fact, Derek had been his only male friend for the past five years. With other guys, complications had always cropped up. They acted like they wanted to be friends, and then it turned out they wanted to jump Cal’s bones, which wasn’t bad in and of itself, with the right guy, or even the semi-right guy if Cal was in the mood. But it seemed like the only thing guys ever wanted was sex, and Cal had a knack for attracting the most intense and possessive types. That was why Derek was so great. They could hang out all the time and do regular things without any sexual tension and drama.

“There’s a beach on Coney Island,” he told Derek. “You can walk to it right from the subway. I looked it up. The subway fare’s only two seventy-five. The first sunny day both of us are off from work, we’ll go.”

Derek grinned and leaned into Cal some more. “Hey, what about going down to Little Italy tomorrow night?”

“Oh. I can’t.”

Derek gave him a double take. He was aware Cal closed up his grandfather’s shop by seven o’clock at the latest. They’d never made plans without the other. Neither of them even knew anyone else in New York. “You can’t?”

“I met someone.” Cal’s face bloomed. “We kind of have a date. Or, I think we have a date. Or, it could just be getting together as friends.”

“When did you meet someone?”

“This morning. At the store.”

“A customer?”

“Yeah.” It felt like sunshine was spreading over Cal. “His name is Brendan Thackeray-Prentiss.”

“Jesus. Did his family come over with the first gay pilgrims?”

Cal giggled. He evened out his enthusiasm. “He’s probably too perfect to be real. And it’s only going out for ice cream. I think he was just being friendly.”

Derek shot him a crooked glance.

“What’s that for?”

“Cal, you can be so oblivious when it comes to guys.”

“I don’t think I’m oblivious,” Cal objected. “It’s not a hookup. I didn’t get that impression at all. You think after everything that happened with Steve, I’d be giving out my phone number to random strangers?” He sat up straight, self-righteous. “I’ve actually been super conscious about not giving off any sexual vibes.”

Another crooked glance came back at him. “You’ve been super conscious about not giving off sexual vibes,” Derek repeated flatly. “Wearing a T-shirt that says ‘Want a lick?’”

“It’s ironic,” Cal said. “The whole T-shirt is meant to be ironic.”

“There’s nothing ironic about you, Cal. That’s the problem.” Derek dug his cell phone out and started tapping on the screen. His face twisted up skeptically in the blue light of the phone, and he turned the display screen to Cal. “That him?”

Brendan’s strong-jawed, handsome face sparkled in Cal’s vision. Cal took the phone so he could admire the photo more closely. Brendan was wearing a tuxedo for some society event. His wavy, dark brown hair was shorter and perfectly groomed. He stood in a ballroom filled with people who looked like they owned islands in the Caribbean. A modern-day prince.

“How did you find him so quickly?”

Derek took back his phone. “Brendan Thackeray-Prentiss is not exactly a common name.” He swiped and tapped at the screen. “And there’s, like, a zillion articles about him.” Derek read from one of them. “New York Magazine— Heir to Thackeray shipping magnate hosts fundraising gala for LGBTQ homeless teens.”

“Really? That’s so sweet.” Cal reached for the phone. Derek held him back as if Cal were a toddler trying to grab his lollipop.

“Stalk him on your own time,” Derek said.

Cal took his arm and nuzzled up close. “But I want to stalk him with you.”

“Don’t come purring up to me,” Derek scolded him mildly. “I turn my back for a half second, and you’ve got guys luring you into ice cream parlors to get down your pants.”

“Brendan’s not like that. He buys Victorian cameos for his grandmother. And he was really shy about his family being wealthy. It was cute.” Cal brushed his hand through his thick, wavy blond hair. “I don’t know. I’ve got this really great feeling about him.”

Derek took a long, stiff draw of his beer. “That’s great. So what’s going to happen? You two are going to run off and make genetically gifted babies, and I’m stuck hanging out in New York all summer by myself.”

“No,” Cal said. He squeezed Derek’s arm. “I’d never do that to you.”

“It’s cool, Cal. I mean, it’s not like I can expect a guy like you to stay single for the rest of his life. You walk down the street, and people are falling over each other to try to inhale the air you breathe.”

Cal gazed at Derek steadily. “That only happened once.” A smile crept up his face, which earned a mild chuckle from his friend. Cal nudged Derek on the shoulder. “We came down here to experience New York together. I’m not going to renege on that. Brendan and I have known each other for, like, five seconds. It’s nothing serious. You want me to text him and cancel for tomorrow?”

“Yes.”

Cal’s heart sank in his chest, but he rummaged in his pocket for his phone.

Derek caught him by the arm. “No. I was kidding.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m not going to be a total dick,” Derek said. “Hey, maybe I’ll do you one better and meet some billionaire to take me out for an actual dinner.”

“Thanks, Derek. Have I told you lately you’re the best friend in the world?”

“No, you haven’t.”

Cal kissed him on the cheek. “You’re the best friend in the world.”

“You still owe me the beach, you frickin’ ho.”

They scowled at each other, and then they tucked in to watch the rest of the black-and-white movie on the giant movie screen.

More on the inspiration for Irresistible

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I always enjoy sharing some of the visual and musical inspiration points for my titles, so I thought I’d do just that in follow up to my post about Irresistible last week.

It’s an upbeat, pop music kind of story, and the one song that was in my head a lot while I was going through the first round of editing was “I Feel it Coming” by The Weeknd. I think it fits perfectly for Brendan and Cal’s first night together, and it might get you in the mood for the book.

The Weeknd – I Feel It Coming ft. Daft Punk (Official Video)

I Feel It Coming ft. Daft Punk (Official Video) Taken from the album Starboy https://TheWeeknd.lnk.to/IFeelItComingDaftPunkYD Connect with The Weeknd: http://www.facebook.com/theweeknd http://instagram.com/theweeknd https://soundcloud.com/theweeknd https://twitter.com/TheWeeknd https://www.theweeknd.com Directed by Warren Fu Produced by Raffi Adlan For Partizan Music video by The Weeknd performing I Feel It Coming.

Then, for something more, erm romantically-appropriate…

SHAPE OF YOU – ED SHEERAN (Cover Music Video)

this is my cover to “Shape of You” by Ed Sheeran (Duet with Drew Penkala). alright so this video is CRAZY LOL. this is something that is very out of my element haha. so i hope you all enjoy but definitely don’t take this too seriously or take it the wrong way.

Last, this is a bit of a throwback, but I was looking for something pop-y with a good sense of humor to go along with the comedy side of the story.

OK Go – Here It Goes Again (Official Music Video)

REMASTERED IN HD! Official Music Video for Here It Goes Again performed by OK Go. Directed by OK Go, Choreographed by Trish Sie. Website | http://www.okgo.net Instagram | http://www.instagram.com/okgo Twitter | http://www.twitter.com/okgo Facebook | http://www.facebook.com/okgo Store | https://okgo.net/store #OKGo #HereItGoesAgain #Remastered

In terms of the main characters, one of them is complicated in terms of how I pictured him. Callisthenes Panogopoulos (Cal) is a self-described: “half Greek, quarter Polish, quarter German mutt,” and he’s so beautiful, men and women have been desperately and comically pursuing him since he was a teenager. I actually took some inspiration for the story from the Farrely brothers’ “There’s Something About Mary,” so there’s a little Cameron Diaz in Cal.

Everyone’s image of the most gorgeous man in the world is different, so in some ways I’m reluctant to share some of my casting thoughts for Cal. I don’t want to spoil whatever picture comes to mind when you read it! But here are a couple of young hearthrobs that could work for me.

So, how about model Matthew Noszka?

Matthew Noszka

Photo retrieved from Consort PR http://consortpr.com/modal/male-models/whos-boy-matthew-noszka/

Matthew Noszka

Matthew Noszka, from IMDB profile

Or, thinking more working actor with some Greek ancestry, Theo James, if he was ready for a lighter, more comedic role

via GIPHY

Or, as Cal says himself, it’s about time Hollywood cast real gay actors to play real gay people so, Colton Haynes, with shaggier blond hair?

Colton Haynes

Photo retrieved from Gay Star News https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/was-it-a-secret-colton-haynes-responds-to-comment-about-secret-gay-past/

The other lead Brendan Thackeray-Prentiss is a well-bred catch in his own right who would need to be played by an actor who can channel overeducated, twenty-something angst. So here’s one actor who would be great for the part: Logan Lerman.

Logan Lerman

Logan Lerman, photo from Vanity Fair https://www.vanityfair.com/hollywood/2014/10/logan-lerman-fury-actor

Or, going with a gay actor, Kyle Dean Massey could also fit the bill:

Kyle Dean Massey

Kyle Dean Massey, retrieved from Broadway.Com https://www.broadway.com/shows/ifthen/photos/photos-idina-menzel-and-her-ifthen-friends-live-it-up-in-nyc-on-opening-night/198293/kyle-dean-massey

You can see all of the book’s inspiration points at my Pinterest board: